dream home

neon lizards over maroon stripped with pink orange and blue
2 are real one looks stiff
the still one is green with pink and red spots it barely curves around the circle
a striped lizard faces him it has 6 stripes covering it's body, running from nose to tail
it curves around with tilted head and curved til
the last lizard is mostly yellow with blue stripes up it's spine and legs scalloped like lace
he faces the tail of the fake lizard and sits tail to tail with the striped lizard
it's til loops around in a perfect o
in the center of the circle of lizards a feather sits that looks like clouds

i want to be in a place where the shady trees play in the  silver breeze
cool in the summer heat
where the summer heat drys and cracks the soil to dust catiching on your feet when you stom trough it
but in the shade, dampness
moss fluffy earthy on top of wet cold clay
taking the heat from my body
sweet flowers fill the air
lily of the vally here in the shade
so sweet it makes you sick
sage and lavender more rough spicy secrect.
i want to walk through that door
and feel the cool concret
and climb the rough stairs
and taste the eletricity and feel the thrum
and fall into my soft bed
smells like me
smells like her
and have it be mine


sight
denim quilt thrown across the bed worn and warm
the bed is pallets rough holding the mattress, smooth for the headboard  porous cinder blocks holding it up
plywood floor finished smooth
low walls leading to sloping round celling small skylights letting in hot sun with prism catching and making rainbows

smell
lemon perfume dry dust sodder
wood furnish dirt
rubber cork oil bread
lavender soap cooked carrots
balsamic vinegar concrete
cedar wood musty damp shower
warm skin paint chalk
steel
hot plastic silicone lumber
old furniture
hair dye

taste
dry bitter shocking
musty and biller like old moldy bread with Windex Finnish
dry salty
chemical with nutty taste
sweet carrot cooked in red wine-earthy sweet and bitter
the disappointment and failure taste of soap

feel
plush soft so soft giving but firm
rough splintering why did i not sand this
uneven bumpiny toes drag across the smooth but uneven ground...cold
warm glass windows smooth, but my finger catches on it all the way down
round rubber coated cables nice to roll between fingers, but will give rubber burn if yanked out

sound
wind curing around the house
dull buzz of electricity  in the walls
wind chime throbbing outside
hard bows of bass in the radio
sharp sound of a faucet on
gowns from the floor the flex of furniture
cry of a running machine getting beaten with full foot falls 

emotional
mine
finaly free to be me
hopes and dreams
who i want to be
what i want
saftey
the feeling of being wanted
of wanting my self  the freedom to make myself
to not be a burden
easy
so easy doing what i love
bulding what i like
a garden off acomplisment
all mine
made by me
to be me 

story
every morning i wake up to blue skies. pull myself from my warm bed and walk all the way down the creeking steps bulted to the wall defying gravity. the shower runns to warm the water, warm pajamas giving away to cold air. water scorching on one side frigid on the other, blance never quite found.
hey you with the pretty face welcome to the human race
brush your teeth. pick the bruch and the paste from their peggs on the bright orange board
minty.